Funny / Jokes SMS

The only time the Pakistani rupee goes up these days is during a toss..!!:P:D

Ek Baat Hmesha Yaad Rakhna

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Dunya Me Kuch Mile Na Mile

Do Cheezein Haq Se Leni Chahye

Ek Samose K Sath Extra Chatni

Aur

Dusra Gol-Gappe K sath

Uska Pani.

TOP INSULT

Husband apni saas se. Apki beti mai hazaron khamiyaan hai

Saas. Haan beta isi waja se to usse acha larka ni mila

Kaise mumkin hai k "bhool" jayen tumhen..?

Koi "Rattaa" nahi Pura "concept" ho tum...! :D:)

A tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away saying "I m sorry to tell U this, you have an advanced case of highly infectious Rabies (disease caused by mad dog). U r very late so this is incureable now".

Business Man:-Could u give me a pen and paper..?

Doco u want to write your will?

B/Man hissed:-No! I want to make a list of all the people I m going to bite..!!

If animals hav FB, these r most likely to b their status updates:

Cockroach: Managed to skip frm sum1 s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangrous lifestyle! :p

Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad...wat shall I tell her?? I dnt evn remembr

Mosquito: I m HIV positive dis is all due to wrong sucking !!! :/

Chicken: If 2omorrow i m nt updating my status, means i m being servd at KFC.! Luv u all

Octopus: I hav jst refilld my ink..horray!! ^_^

Pig: Oh gosh they throw da gossip dat i m spreading flu...damn!! :X

Goat: Frndz..dnt go out, Eid holiday is kuming :'(

pig writes a comment on goat's status: "Luckily I m haram" | 4 likes|

Goat replies: "Dnt u remembr dat aftr eid..da chinese new year..?:D

Ek cockroach ka marne se phle apne qaatil se akhri alfaaz

Aao mjhe mar dalo buzdl Insan!

Tum mujh se jalte ho

Q k tumhri BV tum se nahi mujh se darti hai

('_') (=.=)(*_*)(o.o)

/¡¡ /¡¡ /¡¡ /¡¡

Pehchana kon hen ye 4 log???

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Nahi?

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Ye vahi hen jin k bare mein Ammi hamesha kehti hen k.....

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4 log dekhen ge to keya kahen gay

A mother-in-law explaining working 2 her newly married

daughter-in-law

I m Home Minister as well as Finance Minister of this house.

Ur Father-in-law is the Foriegn Minister.

My Son ur husband heads Ministry of Demand n Supply.

And my daughter i.e. ur husband's sister runs Planning & Developement Ministry.

Now u tell me which ministry wud u like 2 run?

Daughter-in-law instantly replied smiling, 'Dear mother-in-law! 'I wiill b the OPPOSITION LEADER..!!':D

My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question for: Number of dependents on you?

I replied:

65% of population who doesn't pay taxes.

2.1 million illegal immigrants

9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons

And above all

769 idiots in parliament.

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They said this was not an acceptable answer...!!

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I am still wondering.... who did I miss out?